Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if..

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Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
You have a shuttle called “Billy Joe Bob”
He refers to Clintons as “Critters”
He refers to Photon Torpedoes as “Popguns”
He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum foil
He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
He says, “Got your ears on, good buddy” instead of “open hailing frequencies”

He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen
He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
He says, “Yee-Ha!” instead of “Engage”
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phase
He insists on calling his executive officer “Bubba”
He sets the fore view screen to reruns of “Bass master”
He programs the food replicate for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
He paints the starship John Deere green
He refers to a Pulsar as a “Blue Light Special”
He refers to the Muter Nebula as a “swamp”
His moonshine is stronger than Romulus Ale
He sings “Lucille” instead of “Kathleen”
His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
His idea of a “gas giant” is that big old’ XO Bubba after a meal of beans and
weenies
He sets phase to “Cajun”

324900cookie-checkYour Starship Captain just might be a redneck if..

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