“Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”
Uncategorized
"Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it."
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?” The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.” “You need to take them...
I'm seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out I'm just after my money.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. "Here, I killed your friend. Hold him."
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!
Two prostitutes in a van were driving through a small southern town displaying a sign on the side of their van that read: TWO PROSTITUTES LOOKING FOR WORK. When pulled over by the local police, they were told that it was illegal to display such...