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If at first…

If at first you don’t succeed… blame someone else and seek counseling.

The Doctor’s Convention

There’s a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor’s convention. One night, a male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they’re sitting next to each other by the end of dinner. After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room.
“Sure,” the woman says. “Let me go wash my hands first.
“After she washes her hands, they have sex. After they are finished, she washes her hands again. This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so, with sarcasm in his tone, he says, “You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.”
Angered at this remark, the woman says, “Well, you must be an anesthesiologist, because I didn’t feel a thing!”

Usual Tip

Johnny paid his way through college by being a waiter in a restaurant.
“What’s the usual tip?” asked a customer.
“Well,” said Johnny, “this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I’d be doing great.”
“Is that so?” growled the customer. “In that case, here’s twenty dollars.
“Thanks. I’ll put it in my college fund,” Johnny said.
“By the way, what are you studying?” asked the customer.
“Applied psychology.”

If Mayans could…

If Mayans could predict the future, why didn’t they predict their extinction?

Playing with…

Playing with a toddler is half play and half self-defense.

Hunting Buddies

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
“Where’s Henry?” the others asked.
“Henry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail,” the successful hunter replied.
“You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?” they inquired, shocked.
“A tough call,” nodded the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!

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