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My mother was………
My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. She said she didn’t feel a thing!
Generous Travel Agent
A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.
He called them into his shop, “I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won’t take no for an answer.”
He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were off!
About a month later the little old lady came in to his shop.
“And how did you like your holiday?” he asked eagerly.
“The flight was exciting and the room was lovely,” she said. “I’ve come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old fart I had to share the room with?”
Sorting the Mail
Paul got a part time job at the Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day.
“I just want you to know,” the supervisor said, “that I’m very pleased with the job you did today. You’re one of the fastest workers we’ve ever had.”
“Thank you, Sir” said Paul, beaming, “and tomorrow I’ll try to do even better.”
“Better?” the supervisor asked with astonishment. “How can you possibly do any better than you did today?”
Paul replied, “Tomorrow I’m going to read the addresses.”
Why did the………
Why did the parents not like their son’s biology teacher? He had skeletons in his closet.
Pet Chicken
A man approached the window of a movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder and asked for two tickets. “Who’s the other ticket for?” the ticket girl asked. “For my pet chicken.” He said, pointing to the bird.
“I’m sorry,” the girl tells him, “but we don’t allow animals in the theater.”
The man walked around the corner of the building, and stuffed the chicken into his pants. He returned to the ticket window and bought a ticket, entered the theater, and sat down.
The chicken started to get too hot, so the man, figuring it was okay because it was dark to unzipped his pants and let the chicken stick its head out.
The woman seated next to him looked down in horror. She nudged her friend Amanda and whispered, “Amanda! This man next to me just unzipped his pants!”
Amanda replied, “Oh, don’t worry about it. Just ignore him. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”
The woman whispered back, “I know, I know, but this one’s eating my popcorn!”
Our child……..
Our child has a great deal of willpower—and even more won’t power.