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Favorite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right because everyone else laughed. My parents always told me to tell the truth, so I did, but my teacher sent me to the principal’s office for it. I told the principal what happened, he laughed, but then told me not to do that again.
The next day, my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, and I told her “Because you can make it into a fried chicken.” She sent me to the principal’s office again. He laughed, but told me not to do that again.
I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like when I am. I decided to follow what my parents taught me because they always tell me all they want for me is to become a good man, and a good man never lies. Today, my teacher asked me what famous person I admired the most. I said “Colonel Sanders”… guess where I am now.
I’m killing time…
I’m killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
Generous Johnny
Little Johnny asked his dad for a dollar to give to a little old lady at the park. His father impressed by his son’s kindness, gave him the dollar.
The next day, Little Johnny asked his dad for another dollar, again for the little old lady at the park. Proud of his son’s generosity, the father gave him another dollar and patted him on the back.
The following day, before heading out to the park, Little Johnny asked for yet another dollar.
“There you are my son,” said the father. “But, tell me, isn’t the little lady able to work any more?”
“Oh yes, she is, daddy,”said Little Johnny with a wide smile, “She sells candy at the park.”
”I was asked what…..
“I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently ‘a way out’ wasn’t the right answer.”
”I saw weird….
I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, gross, godless, evil stuff… and I want it (:
Paradise
A five year old boy asks his father, “Dad what’s between mom’s legs?”
“Paradise,” replies the father not knowing what to say to a five year old.
“And what’s between your legs, dad?” continues the little boy.
The father replies, “A key to the paradise, son.”
Little boy pauses for a moment, giving it some thought, and finally says, “Daddy, I think you need to change the locks. The neighbor has a duplicate key.”