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Great New Law!
Have you heard the news?
There is a new law being passed that will allow dogs and cats to be deducted as dependents on your tax returns! You can now deduct as many as 100 pets!
The new law is proposed to encourage more people to have pets instead of children. But please be careful…
The law only applies to one day of the year, April 1st!
Happy April Fool’s day!!!!
Three Strikes
A farmer and his brand new wife were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.
The farmer said, “That’s once.”
A little farther down the road the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, “That’s twice.”
A little while later the horse stumbled yet again. The farmer didn’t say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.
His brand-new wife yelled, telling him, “That was an awful thing to do.”
The farmer responded, “That’s once.”
Even people who…………
Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs…
Our child………..
Our child has a great deal of willpower—and even more won’t power.
Going to Church
A homeless man, down on his luck, went into a local church that was known for its rather “uppity” social reputation.
Spotting the man’s dirty clothes, the ushers stopped him outside the church door and asked if he needed help.
The man told them, “I was praying and the Lord told me to come to this church.”
The ushers suggested that the man go away and pray some more and me might get a different answer.
The following Sunday the man returned and the ushers again stopped him at the door.
“Well, did you get a different answer?” they asked him.
“Yes, I did,” said the man. “I told the Lord that you don’t want me here, and the Lord said, ‘I am sorry, son. I’ve been trying to get into that church for years and I haven’t made it yet either.”