You know you're in a red-neck hospital when…
By - Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
- Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
- Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.
- Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
- Anaesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
- Your Gynaecologist is Ernest.
- Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
- The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.
- Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.
- Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof.
- Immunisations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard’s feet, owl’s beaks and pig’s ears.
- Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it’s shown on The Learning Channel.
- You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.
- You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.
- The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.
744900cookie-checkYou know you're in a red-neck hospital when…