You know you're in a red-neck hospital when…

  • Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.
  • Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.
  • Dogs hang around O. R. for scraps.
  • Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.
  • Anaesthesiologist in bib overalls, feeds you a clear liquid out of a mason jar.
  • Your Gynaecologist is Ernest.
  • Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig.
  • The Interns are led by Ernest T. Bass.
  • Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw.
  • Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof.
  • Immunisations are worn fanny-packs, full of lizard’s feet, owl’s beaks and pig’s ears.
  • Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it’s shown on The Learning Channel.
  • You have a choice of walkers, with or without a gun rack.
  • You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow.
  • The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens.
74490cookie-checkYou know you're in a red-neck hospital when…

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