Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs down the toilet? To feed the toilet duck!
What do you get when you put 50 politicians in a room with 50 lesbians? - 100 people who don't do dick!
One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and.
Q: What is the similarity between lightning and a violist's fingers? A: They both never strike the same place twice. Submitted by Calamjo Edited by Yisman
Why Dogs don't surf the web... Can't stick their heads out of Windows 2000. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear.
Windows-A danger zone for Fido. Modem-A good way to get rid of weeds. Mouse-Something the cat chases.
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long. (Lick finger and wipe on shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes. Nice legs....what time do they open? Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out...
You might be a redneck if... You've ever hitchhiked naked, You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer. You use the O on a stop sign.
A black preacher and a white preacher went on a hillside to find out if God was black or white. The white preacher askes, "God, are you black or white"?.
Your momma's so fat she can be classified as Mrs. Jiggle Puff.