"Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans."
A guy who had forgotten the dates for a number of his friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates.
"I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly."
Groups of American seniors were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used in some of the cheeses. She showed the group a lovely...
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
An absentminded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary.He opened an account with a florist and provided that florist with.
“People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son,.
I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my navigation said, "In 400 feet, pull over and let me out."
Two old guys at a senior center were sipping lemonade on the porch. One says to the other, "I see that the older I get, the more pain I am in. It seems that these days even my aches have pains." The other one says, "I don't think I...