Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill. Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running. When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. Somehow gets HBO on...
your mamas glassses are so thik that when she looks at the map she sees people waving
You owe a taxidermist more than your annual income.
Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough money you can buy them back.
You're a redneck if.... You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said: "Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?" The other answered: "Yeah! It's...
The stockings are hung on the chimneyAnd the presents are under the treeAnd mama's in the kitchen making some herbal teaThe windows are covered with frostThe candles are all alight.
This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying: "Nerds Not Allowed.
It was Palm Sunday, and the family's 6-year old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm branches, the little boy asked what they were for. His mother explained, "People held them over...