Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad.And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.
A Horse Walks into a Bar... He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are.
''I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure out where the hell you got the idea I cared.”
A college professor was giving a big science test. Upon collecting the tests she noticed a note attached to one of them with a $100 bill underneath it. The note read, “One dollar per point please.” The professor returned the test the following with $40 and...
I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning,.
Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are.
I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs...