I took four tires to a friend’s garage sale and was asking $35 apiece. I needed to step away for a bit so I asked him to watch them for me. "Sure," he said, "but just in case someone offers less, how low are you willing...
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well, Honey..." said the boy's mom, "the stork brought you to us." "Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the stork brought...
My friend claims that he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him. But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. I say it was petty, she would have said it was Armageddon. As is our nature, neither of us.
An elderly woman in her nineties had a visitor from her church come to see her at the nursing home. “How are you?” the visitor asked. “Oh,” said the elderly woman, “I’m just worried sick!” “You look like you’re in good health. They take good care...
What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxi.
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a brief, fruitless search, he gave up. His mother took up the cause and within minutes she.
Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"