Dorm Rules

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students:

“The female dormitory is out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory is to the female students. Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Second violation will be a $60 fine. Third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

A male student inquired, “How much for a season pass?”

A Coffin

A coffin maker was on his way to deliver one of his coffins, in the process, his car broke down. Trying not to be late, he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.

A police officer saw him and told him to stop, so he asked: “Hey, what are you carrying and where are you going”?

The man replied, “I do not like where I was buried so I am relocating”

 

The Eulogy

One woman married and had 6 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 3 more children. Again, her husband died. But she remarried and this time had 4 more children.

At last, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking Him, for this loving woman who fulfilled his
commandment to “Go forth and multiply.” In his eulogy, the preacher said, “Lord, they’re finally together.”

Leaning over to a neighbor, one mourner quietly asked, “Is he referring to her first, second or third husband?”

The neighbor replied, “I think he’s referring to her legs.”