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Two high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.
After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said: “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.”
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, “First Question: Which tire was flat?”
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that her battery was dead. She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to dad.
After junior had called, he got back to his mother to inform her that it was a lady that picked up his Dad’s phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
The woman waited impatiently for her husband to return from work. As soon as she sighted him in the driveway, she ran out and gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why? She repeated to slap him and call him names. Neighbors rushed around to know the cause of this.
Finally, between the slaps, them man was able to figure out what happened and called for his son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
The son said “The number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment. Please try again later.”
One night a lady with a black eye stumbled into a police station. She told the desk sergeant that she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the face and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a few minutes later, also with a black eye.
“Did you get hit by the same attacker?” his captain asked.
“No, sir,” he replied. “I stepped on the same rake.”
A little boy was sitting outside a store eating one snickers candy bar after another, when an older man walked up and said, “You shouldn’t be eating so much candy, it’ll rot your teeth, it’s just bad for you to eat so much candy.”
The little boy looked up and said, “My grandfather lived to be 95 years old”.
The older man asked: “Oh? by eating snickers candy bars?”
The little boy said: “No, by minding his own business.”