Jose and Carlos are panhandlers that panhandle in different areas of town.
Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects $2-3 every day.
Jose brings home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
One day, Carlos asked Jose, “I work just as long and hard as you do, but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?”
“Look at your sign, what does it say?” replies Jose.
Carlos’ sign reads, “I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.”
Jose says, “no wonder you only get $2-3.”
Carlos says, “So what does your sign say then?”
Jose shows Carlos his sign – it reads: “I only need another $10 to move back to Mexico”
An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches over and slaps his wife.
She says, “Well what was that for?”
He says, “Thats for 40 years of rotten sex!”
She doesn’t reply and they start rocking again.
All the sudden the old lady reaches up and slaps her husband.
He says, “Well what was that for?”
She says, “That’s for knowing the difference!”
Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in the back of a trailer, drinking a beer and talking about life.
Billy-Bob said, “If I snuck over to your house while you were out fishing and had sex with your wife, and she got pregnant, would that make us kin?”
Bubba scratched his head for a bit and said, “I don’t think so…but it sure would make us even.”