A guy underwent a surgery and met with his blonde doctor afterward to discuss next steps in his recovery.
Patient : “What are the chances of my recovering, doctor?”
Doctor : “One hundred percent.”
Patient: “How can you be so sure?”
Doctor: “Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated and all the others died.”
One day, a man walks into a dentists office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
“Eighty dollars”, says the dentist.
“That’s a ridiculous amount!” the man says. “Isn’t there a cheaper way?”
“Well…” the dentist says, “if you don’t use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $60.”
Looking annoyed the man says, “That’s still too expensive!”
“Okay” says the dentist. “If I save on anesthetics and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $20.”
“Nope,” moans the man, “it’s still too much!”
“Well” says the dentist, scratching his head, “if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $10.”
“Marvelous!” says the man, “Book my wife for next Tuesday.”
A man called his wife from work one Friday afternoon and told her to pack his bags for a fishing trip. He told her that he and some guys from work were going fishing for the weekend.
“Pack some clothes, get out my fishing poles and tackle box, and don’t forget my blue silk pajamas,” he explained to her.
The wife agreed and when he got home he picked up his stuff and said goodbye.
Sunday night the man returned home and his wife asked, “How was your fishing trip?”
The man responded, “It was great and I even caught a few large ones, but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas!”
“No I didn’t,” she replied, “I put them in your tackle box!”
A young woman knelt in the confessional and said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”
“What is it, child?” asked the priest.
The woman said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.”
The priest turned, took a good look at the woman, and said, “My dear, I have good news. That isn’t a sin – it’s only a mistake.”
A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.
“Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!”
Ground control receive her call for help and answers back:
“Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position.”
“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front.”