Important Decisions

A young man couldn’t decide which girl to date. He liked one girl named Anna, but he really liked another one named Maria, too. He decided to ask his friend for advice.

“I can’t decide which girl to date. How do you make important decisions?” he asked his friend.

“Well, I go to church,” replied his friend. “Then I look up and pray and usually the answer just comes to me.”

The young man decided to try just that. He went to church, looked up to pray, smiled and left the church.

The next day he saw his friend and happily announced, “I did what you told me to. I went to church, got my answer and I didn’t even need to pray.”

His friend was surprised, “What do you mean you didn’t even have to pray?”

“Well,” the young man replied, “When I looked up, and the answer was written in gold above a stained-glass window. It read: Ave Maria.”

Police at the Gates

Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?”

“I was a police officer,” he responded.

“What kind of police officer?” Saint Peter asked.

“I was a vice officer. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.”

“Welcome to heaven. You may end the gates.” He asked the second man what he did as a police officer.

“I was a traffic officer,” said the man. “I kept the roads and highways safe.”

“Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.” He asked the third man what he did as a police officer.

“I was a military policeman, sir,” replied the man.

“Wonderful! I’ve been waiting for you all day!” replied Saint Peter. “I need to take a break! Watch the gate, will you?”

Big Buck

Three friends decided to go hunting together. One was a lawyer, one a doctor, and the other a preacher.

As they were walking, along came a big buck. The three of them shot at the same time and the buck dropped immediately. The hunting party rushed to see how big it actually was.

Upon reaching the fallen deer, they found out that it was dead but had only one bullet hole. A debate followed concerning whose buck it was. When a game warden came by, he offered to help. A few moments later, he had the answer.

He said with much confidence, “The pastor shot the buck!”

The friends were amazed that he could determine that so quickly and with so little examination.

The game warden just smiled. “It was easy to figure out. The bullet went in one ear and out the other.”