Keeping up with Technology

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

“If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades,” boasts Gates, “you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 100 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $200.”

“Sure,” says the GM chairman. “But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?”

Walking the Dog

A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?” Mom replied, “No, because she is in heat.” “What’s that mean?” asked the child. “Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.”

The little girl went to the garage and said, “Dad, may I take Sasha for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.” Dad said, “Bring Sasha over here.” Being old school he took a rag, soaked it with a little gasoline, dabbed the dog’s backside with it to disguise the scent, and said, “OK, you can go now, but keep Sasha on the leash and only go one time round the block.”

The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, “Where’s Sasha?” The little girl said, “She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.”

Leaving a Note

A man returned to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage to the front end of the car. There was no sign of the offending vehicle, but he was relieved to see that there was a note stuck under the windshield wiper.

The note read: “Sorry I just backed into your car. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and smiling at me because they think I’m leaving my name, address and other particulars, But I’m not.”