I hope when I…

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

I asked my…

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

When I was a…

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive… It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.