Doctor Needed

A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

“We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend. “I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”

“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, three doctors are there already!”

Tricky Burglar

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

The desk sergeant says “You’ll get your chance in court, sir”.

Man says “No, No, No, I just want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

The Will

Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes.

When all is ready he begins to speak, “My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses. My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end. Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre. Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river.”

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, “Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property”.

The wife replies, “No, the jerk was talking his paper route.”