There was one little boy in the teacher’s class who really struggled to learn.
One day the teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence, and of course he didn’t know.
The teacher asked him every day for a week but still he couldn’t give the right answer.
Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to come and see her. She said to him, “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence.”
The father said to his son, “Come here, boy, and sit down.”
The boy duly did as he was told and then his dad said to him, “Now if you signed that stupid thing, just admit it so we can get out of here.”
An old hearing impaired gentleman visited his doctor. At the end of the visit, his doctor warned him that he had a heart murmur and thus should be careful.
Not even a week later, the doctor was surprised to see the old fellow out on the town, whooping it up. He got his attention and took him aside. “Don’t you remember what I told you the other day?” he inquired.
“Oh, I surely do.” the old gent replied. “Best dang advice I ever got. I did just as you said. I got me a hot mama and I’m cheerful.”
Washington organized a competition of two-line poem in which first line must be the most romantic, but second line should be the least romantic. This is the winner:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
I love your smile, your face and your eyes,
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
My feelings for you, no words can tell,
Except for maybe ‘Go to hell.’
What inspired this amazing rhyme?
Two parts tequila, one part lime!