Who Wants To Win An Iraqi Oil Well Contest



This is how the game is played. A contestant will be required to pick the correct answer out of 4 possible answers. For each correct answer chosen, a contestant wins money. There are 16 steps to winning the oil well. From 1 through 15, the contestant wins a monetary price. The final question, number 16, if answered correctly, wins the contestant an oil well in Iraq. If at any level you fail to correctly answer a question or are unable to answer a question, you automatically are eliminated from the contest.

A contestant has three life lines to use at any time during the contest, and the life lines may used in any combination at any time. The life lines are:

(A) Ask the studio audience.

(B) Use a 50/50 , in which case two wrong answers are removed from the four answers.

(B) Phone a friend for help.

Host: Our first contestant is Georgie Boy. Welcome to the show, Georgie Boy. What do you do for a living? Do you want to win an oil well?

Georgie Boy: Thank you. I live in the White House. You bet I want to win an oil well.

Host: Aha, that is quite a job, living in the White House. Well, Georgie Boy, lets get down with the show.

Question #1: Which of the following statements is an accurate representation of democracy in America?


a) government of the people, by the people, for the people.

b) government of the people, by a few, for the greedy.

c) government of the people, by a few, against the people.

d) government of the people, by George Bush, for Dick Chaney.

Georgie Boy: This is an easy question. My answer is (d), final.

Host: You got it, Georgie Boy. You�ve won $100.00.

Question #2: What is George Washington�s last name?

Answers: a) George, b) WMD, c) Washington, D) George Washington.

Georgie Boy: I�ll like to ask the audience on this one.

Host: OK, audience, please help Georgie Boy on this one. Well, Georgie Boy, 95% of the audience says the answer is Washington.

Georgie Boy: I�m glad your audience is around to help. I was thinking the answer is (d), George Washington. Oh yes, I�ll go with the audience and say, Washington, final answer.

Host: Washington it is, Georgie Boy. You�ve won $200.00.

Question #3: How many justices are there on the US Supreme Court?

Answers: a) 2, b) 100, c) 9,000, d) 9.

Georgie Boy: You would think I should have known this by now, but I don�t. I�ll like to use my 50/50 life line.

Host: That�s a tough question, Georgie Boy. Computer, randomly remove two of the wrong answers.

Host: Well, Georgie Boy, b and c have been removed.

Georgie Boy: In that case I�ll like to guess 9, final answer.

Host: You got it, Georgie Boy, and you now have $400.00.

Question #4: How many senators are there in the US Senate?

Answers: a) 25, b) 13, c) 50 d) 100

Georgie Boy: Well, I guess I�ll have to use my last life line. I like to phone a friend, Dick Chaney.

Host: Who is Dick Chaney?

Georgie Boy: Oh, Dick is my Vice President, and he sits in the Senate all the time. He should have counted those senators right by now. Some folks refer to Dick Chaney as my boss, and I do not appreciate that. Yes, my dad instructed Chaney to take care of me, but he sure isn�t my boss. Others also claim that I am Chaney�s poodle.

Host: OK. Lets get Dick Chaney on the phone now.

Voice at the other end: Hello?

Host: Is this Dick Chaney?

Voice at the other end: Yes it is.

Host: Mr. Chaney, I have here with me, Georgie Boy, on Who Wants To Win An Oil Well. He has won $400.00 so far, and needs a correct answer to win $800.00 before continuing on to win an oil well in Iraq. He needs your help to correctly answer a question.

Dick Chaney: OK. But I never gave him permission to get on your show. I�ll help him all the same.

Host: Georgie Boy, you may ask Mr. Chaney.

Georgie Boy: Dick, how many senators are there in the US Senate? 25, 13, 50., or 100. You have 10 seconds to answer. Don�t sit on the question like the United Nations sat on our WMD the last time.

Dick Chaney: You must be referring to our Words of Mass Deception. Georgie Boy, the answer is 100.

Georgie Boy: Yippie, Dick, Words of Mass Deception, indeed. As long as the majority of Americans have lenses made of dollar bills, the longer we�ll keep getting away with misleading them with our WMDs. How sweet it is!

Georgie Boy: My answer is 100, and that is final.

Host: You got it, Georgie Boy, and you�ve now won $800.00. You�re now on your way to winning an oil well. However, because you�ve used up all of your life lines, you�re now on your own. Lets proceed to the next question.

Georgie Boy: Fine, bring it on.

Question #5. What is the capital city of Iraq?

Answers: a) Baghdad, b) Fallujah, c) Houston, d) Iran.

Georgie Boy: Oh boy, all those answers look good to me.

Host: But you can only pick one of them for a chance to win $5,000.00 and advance to the next stage of the contest.

Georgie Boy: Can I call Dick Chaney again?

Host: No, Georgie Boy, you�ve used up all of your life lines. You�re on you own now.

Georgie Boy: A higher being tells me the right answer is Iran. So I�ll say Iran, final answer.

Host: Oh, Georgie Boy, Iran is not the correct answer. The correct answer is Baghdad. I�m afraid you�ve got to run.

Georgie Boy: Oh no, I�m going to stay the course.

Host: Georgie Boy, may be on a golf course. Good bye.

Georgie Boy: I wish you had given me these questions ahead of time, like the rest of the media does when dealing with me. Since I can�t win an Iraqi oil well on your contest, I guess I just have to get with Dick Chaney and we�ll march into Iraq and do oil well grabs our war.

By Dick Bush

1600 WMD Avenue

Dee Cee Wee Cee, America

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