The Top 12 Signs It's Been a VERY Cold Winter

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12> Richard Hatch starts wearing a Speedo.

11> You momentarily consider taking refuge in a theater showing a David Arquette movie.

10> You tried to write your name in the snow and it took the fire department and four ambulances to get you free.

9> You’ve lost half a dozen friends to trip-and-shatter accidents.

8> Look at that photo of Janet Jackson *very* closely.

7> Donald Trump’s hair is re-zoned as a homeless shelter.

6> Strangely, you don’t mind sleeping next to Hillary.

5> It’s a downright relief to be in a nice, warm jail cell compared to that icy spider-hole.

4> That’s no lawn ornament — that’s the paperboy!

3> Fire department rescues of people stuck to metal poles were up 40% in schoolyards and 75% in strip joints.

2> Your door has been blocked by snow for three weeks, and you live on the third floor. In Phoenix.

1> Your testicles just sent you a postcard from Miami.

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]

187560cookie-checkThe Top 12 Signs It's Been a VERY Cold Winter

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