The Top 12 Signs It's Been a VERY Cold Winter
By 12> Richard Hatch starts wearing a Speedo.
11> You momentarily consider taking refuge in a theater showing a David Arquette movie.
10> You tried to write your name in the snow and it took the fire department and four ambulances to get you free.
9> You’ve lost half a dozen friends to trip-and-shatter accidents.
8> Look at that photo of Janet Jackson *very* closely.
7> Donald Trump’s hair is re-zoned as a homeless shelter.
6> Strangely, you don’t mind sleeping next to Hillary.
5> It’s a downright relief to be in a nice, warm jail cell compared to that icy spider-hole.
4> That’s no lawn ornament — that’s the paperboy!
3> Fire department rescues of people stuck to metal poles were up 40% in schoolyards and 75% in strip joints.
2> Your door has been blocked by snow for three weeks, and you live on the third floor. In Phoenix.
1> Your testicles just sent you a postcard from Miami.
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[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
