A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him. He immediately apologized...
drunk
A drunk stumbled out the door of the bar. He stood on the corner waiting for the light. His wife called and asked if he was drunk. The man replied,.
A very drunk gent checked into a hotel late one Saturday night. He awoke very ill and summoned a bellboy to fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday.
Three drunk guys got in a taxi. The taxi driver saw that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The first guy gave him money and got out. The second guy said...
This couple has a dog that snored. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he could help. The vet tells the woman to tie.
A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside them."Hey, show us yer teets, ya.
The after-dinner speaker just didn’t have a stop button. He burbled on and on and on, oblivious to his increasingly restless audience. Finally one of the more drunken diners hurled an empty wine bottle at him. It missed and hit the Chairman instead. As the...
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river.".
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his.
Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. The passenger screamed, “Look at the window. There’s an old...