A drunk staggered down to hotel reception and demanded a change of room. He was so insistent that the receptionist was forced to call the manager. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the manager. "I want another room," said the drunk. "But I see...
drunk
A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. "I was only going 40!" the driver.
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says.
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if...
A drunk goes into a bar. "Drinks for everyone, and one for you too." he says to the bartender. The bartender serves everyone, including himself. "That'll be fifty dollars, please.".
An Irish man went to a pub and asked for 4 pints of beer. The bartender recommended that the Irish man get the pints one at a time so that he could.