Sex Education

Johnny was 8 years old and like other boys his age rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about ‘courting’ from
the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.
One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather
flustered.

Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide
behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her
boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described
EVERYTHING to his mother. “Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked
for a while, then he started kissing and hugging herI figured
‘Sis must be getting sickbecause her face started looking funny.
He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her
blouse to feel her heart, just > the way the doctor would.
Except he’s not as smart as the docotr because he seemed to have
trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too,
because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all
out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he put
it under her skirt. About this time ‘Sis got worse and began to
moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of
the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a
fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I
found out what was making them so sick — a big eel had gotten
inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and
stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it
in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she
got really scared — her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open,
and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said
it was the biggest one she’s ever seen; I should tell her about
the ones down at the lake by our house! Anyway, Sis got brave
and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a
sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he
took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel’s
head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her
legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by
lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis
started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset
the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it
between them. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed
the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of
its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a
little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting
anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the
eel wasn’t dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight
again. I guess eels are like cats — they have nine lives or
something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by
sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally
killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis’s
boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.