1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. 3)...
Your mama is so fat that her shadow weighs 10 pounds.
Don't be sexist. Broads hate that!
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a prostitute? A: A two-ton pick-up.
Real programmers write readable code, which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do a little kissing. Jack made a move, and grabed her boob, And now his two front teeth are missing.
The three latest stupid technological discoveries: 1.) Solar powered flashlights. 2.) Inflatable dartboards. 3.) Helicopter ejection seats.
Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work. Did you hear about the dentist who married a.
One day a guy got invited over to his girlfriend's parents house for dinner. He really liked the girl and was set out to impress her parents. When he arrived.
Two Southern belles were having a picnic in a park. The first one says, "See my new diamond ring? My husband bought it for me."The second one says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"The first one says, "And see that shiny new Jaguar parked over...