How are OJ Simpson and Simba from the "Lion King" different? One is an African lion the other is a lyin' African.
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Mavis: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor. Doctor: Oh, really? Mavis: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette A man is incomplete until.
Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, �Hey Tim, what're you in for?� �I'm getting my tonsils out -- I'm...
1) Last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana! 2) Life sucks .... and then you die! 3) What are you gonna do for a.
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The first one says, "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start.
your momas so fat she has her own area code
Priest: What is your sin child? Girl : I confess father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch... Priest: Why? Girl : Father he touched me.... Priest: Like this???? (The priest.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.
President W. Bush said he was happy with his Tax address to Congress, saying it was "to the point" as planned. What does Bush credit his terse delivery to? His careful selection of the most appropriate malapropisms.