What do you get when you cross a computer with an ice road? A hard drive.
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It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
1992 Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure.
I have only one firm belief in the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat. God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle-aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great...
God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend on how faithful you were to your wives on Earth. Man 1: Please God, I can't count how many times.
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain. How do you know when a blonde has used your computer? There's white-out all over the screen. Why did.
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure. Then, the family dog...
One day three boys were riding their bikes in the woods. One of them got lost, so the other two rode their bikes to the police station and reported him.
A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was.
Knock knock, Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup before we leave you alone!!