70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots.
Sarcastic One-Liners
My nephew found a cassette tape in my house. It was like watching early man discovered fire.
"Instead of 'have a nice day,' I think I'll start saying, 'have the day you deserve.' You know, let karma sort things out."
“Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.”
Some people dress to impress, some people undress to impress.
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I had a job selling security alarms door to door and I was really good at it. If no one was home I would just leave a brochure on the.
My mother-in-law is so fat, she could sell shade.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.