A wise man once said... Nothing, he was wise, so he only listened.
Sarcastic One-Liners
Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here.
I'm not sure if I lost my camo pants or if they're just doing a really good job.
Can't see an end. I have no control and I don't think there's an escape. I don't even have a home anymore. Think it's time for a new keyboard.
People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow.
If at first you don't succeed, we have a lot in common.
When I found out that my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked.
I am writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question."
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.