My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...
Sarcastic One-Liners
A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you're forgetting.
Behind every angry woman is a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
I like older women because they've gotten used to life's disappointments. Which means they're ready for me.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.
I have as much authority as the Pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it.