If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.
Sarcastic One-Liners
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
"Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day."
I’m a prince in Lagos, Nigeria and I want you to help me move $500 million out of the country.
“Mother Nature is wonderful. She gives us 12 years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
“You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.”
You have not been yourself lately. We have all noticed the improvement.
''There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage."
''I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure out where the hell you got the idea I cared.”