Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill. Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running. When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex. Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down. Somehow gets HBO...
Jokes
You're a redneck if.... You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
your mamas glassses are so thik that when she looks at the map she sees people waving
You owe a taxidermist more than your annual income.
It was Palm Sunday, and the family's 6-year old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm.
The stockings are hung on the chimneyAnd the presents are under the treeAnd mama's in the kitchen making some herbal teaThe windows are covered with frostThe candles are all alight.
You're a redneck if.... You think that the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you are a mile away from him and you have his.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one dusty, dry, Wild West day and proceed to the first saloon, where they tie up their trusty steeds and head in.
Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex!