1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you are a mile away from him and you have his.
It was Palm Sunday, and the family's 6-year old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm.
You're a redneck if.... You think that the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one dusty, dry, Wild West day and proceed to the first saloon, where they tie up their trusty steeds and head in.
Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex!
Yo' mama so ugly, she took a beauty nap and slipped into a coma!