your mamas glassses are so thik that when she looks at the map she sees people waving
Jokes
You owe a taxidermist more than your annual income.
1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you are a mile away from him and you have his.
It was Palm Sunday, and the family's 6-year old son had to stay home from church because of strep throat. When the rest of the family returned home carrying palm branches, the little boy asked what they were for. His mother explained, "People held them...
The stockings are hung on the chimneyAnd the presents are under the treeAnd mama's in the kitchen making some herbal teaThe windows are covered with frostThe candles are all alight.
You're a redneck if.... You think that the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.
The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town one dusty, dry, Wild West day and proceed to the first saloon, where they tie up their trusty steeds and head in for a snort. After a while a stranger walks into the bar and asks, "Who...
Q: Why do blondes have orgasms? A: So they know when to stop having sex!
After a big fight broke out in a pub, the police were called in, as staffwere cleared away the debris, they spotted old Ron, a regular customer, lying uncocious in.
Yo' mama so ugly, she took a beauty nap and slipped into a coma!