One day a guy walked into a pet shop and a guy walked up and said" Would you like a animal that can talk and do all of your chores" the guy thought a moment and said "Sure i would" they walked around the corner...
Jokes
There were two blondes going to Disneyland. They saw this road sign that said "Disneyland left", so they turned around and went home.
Remember the book "men are from mars, women are from venus"? Well, here's a prime example offered by an English professor at an American university. In-class assignment for Wednesday "today.
What is Santa's worst confession? He admits that only naughty girls get presents for Christmas!
While nursing a drink at a bar, a young woman was distressed to see a drunken unkempt man sit down next to her. "say, honey-baby ... i'd really like tiger.
President Bush even called Lance Armstrong after the big victory. Not to congratulate him... he wants Lance to teach him how to back peddle even faster. -Jay Leno
Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.Purrson: A male kitty.Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.
Q.why did the teahcer take his ruler to bed A. to see how long he could sleep
Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity.
How careers end... Lawyers are disbarred. Ministers are defrocked. Electricians are delighted. Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented. Drunks are distilled. Alpine climbers are dismounted. Piano tuners are unstrung. Orchestra leaders are disbanded. Artists' models are deposed. Cooks are deranged. Dressmakers are unbiased. Nudists are redressed....