A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. When the bartender brings his beer, the guy pays him and puts an octopus on the bar. The bartender tells him, "get that thing out of here!" The guy says, "No, wait you don't understand....
Jokes
Two guys were talking at work. "I've got a problem," said the first one. "What is it?" "My wife has done it to me again. I'm supposed to buy my.
A little girl was attending her first wedding where the whole wedding party was dressed in white. She was watching the proceedings with interest for a while before growing restless..
A priest was driving home when he came across a dead pig lying on the road. He calls the police to inform them. A cocky sergeant answered the call. "Did ye read him his last rites?" smirked the sergeant. "Naw," replied the priest, "I thought...
During training exercises, the Lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road when he encountered another car stuck in the mud, with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep.
A math teacher asked her student, "Billy, if both of your parents were born in 1967, how old are they now?" After a few moments, Billy answered, "It depends." "It.
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his...
A man was the first to arrive at work one morning. The phone rang and he answered. When the caller asked for some specific information, the man explained that it.
A farmer and his recently hired hand were eating an early breakfast of biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, bacon and coffee that the farmer's wife had prepared for them. Thinking.
A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before a big dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma,...