My doctor advised me to kill people. Not in such words of course, he just said that I must diminish the amount of stress in my life.
Author: Joker#1
Having nutrition information on a bag of Cheetos is like having dating tips on a box of Crocs.
How to lose an argument with a woman: 1) Argue.
Why call someone when you can just decide where you and your friend want to meet by exchanging 76 text messages?
No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening. Think about it.
70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots.
My nephew found a cassette tape in my house. It was like watching early man discovered fire.
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I had a job selling security alarms door to door and I was really good at it. If no one was home I would just leave a brochure on the.
My mother-in-law is so fat, she could sell shade.