You know that little voice inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t? I don’t have that.
Author: Joker#1
What I like the most about some people is their dogs.
People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my kind of people.
Sometimes I wish I could get a refund on the time I have invested in people that weren’t worth it.
If someone points at my black clothes and asks, whose funeral it is, I just look around the room, and answer, “haven’t decided yet.”
I have to stop asking how stupid one can be. Some people are starting to take it as a challenge.
I always say “Morning” Instead of “Good Morning” Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people.
Come here you big, beautiful cup of coffee and lie to me about how much we’re going to get done today.
Most days, life is like a soup and I’m a freaking fork.
When people see you laying down with your eyes closed, they still ask “Are you sleeping?” And I’m like, “No. I’m training to die.”