Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
Author: Joker#1
My psychiatrist said I was pre-occupied with the vengeance I told him "oh yeah we'll see about that!"
To the person who invented infinity: "Thanks for everything."
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really...
If you believe that the quickest way to a man's heart is the stomach, you know that you are aiming a little too high.
People don't get my puns. They think they're funny.
I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.
Dear alma mater, please don't send wealth management workshop invites to those of us who majored in creative writing.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.