It was two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang. The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? (Pause as he listens.) How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" and...
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all.
An engineering student was walking across campus when he saw his classmate flying on a broomstick. He asked, “Where did you get such a great flying broomstick?” The second one replied, “Well,.
The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from a certain pediatrician’s office included the line item “Behavior modification re-enforcers”. Alarmed that the pediatrician was engaging in some unapproved, experimental psychological treatment or insurance fraud, she called the physician’s office to inquire. “What on...
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? VINCENT: One dollar. TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic. VINCENT(sadly): You.
The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein. She calls up her mother a few weeks.
A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center. Her arms were laden with a mop and broom and other cleaning supplies. By her hard glances and deep sighs, it was obvious she was in hurry and not a happy camper about...
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "No, sir," the clerk replied. "Interesting." the boss said. "You see, I never did either but.
Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. "Daddy!" he puffed, "Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?" "That's what they say," said his Dad.
A man finds a lamp. He rubs it and a Genie emerges. The Genie tells him he will be granted three wishes. The man thinks for a moment and says, "First, give me a bottomless mug of beer." A mug of beer appears in his...