A guy comes to the produce store and asks for half a watermelon. The associate explains they don’t sell halves. The customer insists and finally asks to speak to the manager. The associate enters the manager’s office and says, “Boss, there is this idiot at...
Jokes
Johnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then.
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to.
A guy walks into the local Welfare office, marches straight up to the counter to collect his fortnightly check and says "Hi. Ya know, I just hate drawing Welfare. I'd much rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is...
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What.
A young man reported for his first day of work at a supermarket. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said,.
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throat for some time and felt that this was their...
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration,.
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars,".
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.' 'Mrs. Sanders, please.' 'Speaking.' 'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as...