A ventriloquist walks into a small Australian town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog and figures he'll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: 'G'day mate. Good looking dog... mind if l speak to him?' Local: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid...
Jokes
A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions.".
A man is joggy around a lake and sees a woman crying. So he stops and asked whats wrong. The woman said I never been huged cuz I have no.
Q. Why are Australians like kiwifruit? A. Because they are rough on the outside, green on the inside..... and too many of them will give you the shits!
Seen in my local paper's 'readers sales' section.FOR SALE BY OWNERComplete set of encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 Volumes. Excellent condition. �1000 pounds or best offer.Reason for sale:- No longer required. Got.
10. Picking nose when no ones looking 9. scratching bottom 8. trying to figure out what they were thinking 3 seconds ago 7. trying to figure out how to spell.
A blond goes into a world-wide message center to send a message to her mother. When the clerk tells him it will be $300, she exclaims, ''I can't afford that, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mom!'' To that the...
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, 'Wow, these seats are big!' The person.
There was a mature gentleman wandering around in a supermarket calling out at intervals, "Crisco, Cris--co!" Finally a store clerk approached."Sir, the Crisco is on aisle five." "Oh," replied the.
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"She says, "Why, officer?""Because your breast is hanging out."She looks down and...