Diary Entry

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you too.’

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But, I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I cried.

I don’t know what to do. I am almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

 

His Diary:

Motorcycle won’t start… can’t figure out why.

 

Johnny’s Problem

A teacher noticed that little Johnny at the back of the class was squirming around, pulling at his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find our what was going on.

Little Johnny was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had a minor surgery on his willy over the weekend and was quite itchy now.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office. He was to call his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did that and returned to the class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. The teacher went back to investigate only to find Johnny sitting at his desk with his pants down.

“I thought I told you to call your mom!” she said.

“I did” replied Johnny hesitantly, “and she told me that if I could stick it out until lunchtime, she’d come and pick me up from school.”

Hot Sister

So I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two years. A few weeks ago she made me very happy by agreeing to marry me. There is one problem though, she has an extremely hot sister. I mean every time she is around, I can’t take my eyes off her lovely curves.

The other day she calls me over to come work on the invitations. I walk in, sit down and she whispers in my ear “I’ve always had feelings for you if you would like to have one last fling before you get married come upstairs.” She walks up the stairs and throws her panties at me.

I’m so shocked I look at the stairs, I look at the door, then again at the stairs. I then run to my car, my entire family-in-law is sitting outside and cheering for me. My father-in-law hugs me and says “Welcome to the family!”  They are all so proud of me for not giving in.

Moral of the story is always keep your condoms in your car!