A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him.
Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition.”
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.
The young woman replied, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”
The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman’s hand.
He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, “Paint my house.”
A guy wandered over to a beautiful woman in a bar and started chatting her up. Not too far into the conversation he said: “Do you mind If I ask you a personal question?”
“That depends on how personal it is,” she replied.
“Okay,” he said tentatively. “How many men have you slept with?”
“No way am I going to tell you that!” she snapped. “That’s my business!”
“Oh, sorry,” he said. “I didn’t realize you made a living from it.”
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 50 minutes late: “It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two.”
The boss eyed him suspiciously, “Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?”
“I finally gave up,” he said, “and started for home.”