Polar Bears

One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his polar bear son were sitting in the snow. The cub turned to his father and said: “Dad, am I 100 percent polar bear?”

“Of course, son” replied the father. “you are 100 percent polar bear”

A few minutes later the cub turned to his father again and said: “Dad, tell me the truth, I can take it. Am I 100 percent polar bear? No brown bear or black bear or grizzly bear?”

The father put a loving paw on the son’s head. “Son,” he said “I am 100 percent polar bear, your mother is 100 percent polar bear, so you are definitely 100 percent polar bear.”

The cub seemed satisfied, but a few minutes later he turned to his father and once more said: “Look, Dad, I don’t want you saying this just to spare my feelings. I have to know: am I 100 percent polar bear?”

By now the father is becoming distressed by the continual questioning and said: “Why do you keep asking if you are 100 percent polar bear?”

The cub replied: “Because I’m freezing!!!”

Give up Smoking

A man tells his friend, “I went to my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking.”
“What did he say?”
“He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate.”
“Did that do any good?”
“No I can’t get the chocolate to light.”

New Son-in-Law

A very successful businessman had  a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I  welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we  care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you  have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.”

The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”

“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”

“I hate office work,” said the son-on-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”

“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just make you half-owner of a  moneymaking organization, but you don’t like factories and won’t work  in a office. What am I going to do with you?”

“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy me out.”

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