Ground Control

A blonde is on board a small two seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio.

“Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!”

Ground control receive her call for help and answers back:

“Don’t worry, madam. I’ll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position.”

“I’m 5″2′ and sitting in the front.”

Cat for Sale

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.

He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies “I’m sorry, but the cat isn’t for sale.”

The collector says, “Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I’ll pay you twenty dollars for that cat.”

And the owner says “Sold,” and hands over the cat.

The collector continues, “Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat’s used to it and it’ll save me from having to get a dish.”
 
The owner says, “Sorry buddy, but that’s my lucky saucer. So far this week I’ve sold sixty-eight cats.”

Flight Meal

There were 103 passengers and only 40 meals got loaded on a INDIA to US flight. The Airline had messed up, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant has an idea.

About 30 minutes into the flight she nervously announces, “I don’t know how this happened but we have 103 passengers and only 40 dinners.”

When the passengers muttering had died down she continued, “Anyone who is kind enough to give up his/ her meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free unlimited liquor during the entire duration of the flight.”

Her next announcement came an hour and a half later, “If anyone wants to change his/her mind we still have 40 dinners available!