Someone who thinks about doing the wild and crazy things I actually do when no one is watching.
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How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this.
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no.
Yo mama is so old her toothbrush is a rock! Yo mama is so poor she has to put free samples on lay-away! Yo mama's hair is so greasy Crisco called for your recipe!
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint.
Men are like...Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Knock KnockWho's there?Orange juice!Orange juice who?Orange juice going to talk to me!
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of.
How do you know if a man has a really ugly wife? Her pet name is Spot.
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?A) Doesn't matter...he won't come to you anyway!Q) What do you call a girl with one leg?A) Ilene!Q) What do you call a guy at your front door with no legs or arms?A) Matt!Q) What do...