Top 16 Fatal Things to say to your Pregnant Wife
By 1. “Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs
forty pounds.”
2. “Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee
had a baby!”
3. “I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby
forever!”
4. “Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 25th is the Super
Bowl.”
5. “Damn if you ain’t about five pounds away from a surprise
visit from that Richard Simmons fella.”
6. “Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy,
that’s gotta hurt!”
7. “Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to
Willard Scott!”
8. “I’m jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of
childbirth?”
9. “Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”
10. “Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!”
11. “Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today.”
12. “Got milk?”
13. “Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.”
14. “Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of
Madagascar!”
15. “Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.”
16. “You don’t have the guts to pull the trigger, Lardass.”
