The Top 15 Possible Scandals Involving Prince Charles
By 15> Used the words “British” and “cuisine” in the same sentence.
14> Appears in a Paris Hilton video (the one in which he’s in a compromising position with a male royal servant at the Paris Hilton).
13> Was caught corking his polo mallet.
12> Practices wearing his mother’s lime green dress with matching handbag, hat and shoes for the day he’ll officially be queen.
11> Has been hiding Saddam’s WMDs behind his ears all this time.
10> Returned a rented Trans Am with a ding in the bumper, less than half a tank of gas and suspicious stains on the rear upholstery.
9> Illegally picked up pirated cable stations with his satellite-dish ears.
8> Document discovered at Roswell details how the elongated fingers were shortened, the oversized cranium was shrunk and the big, black eyes were narrowed, but nobody remembered to fix the ears.
7> Two words: naked cricket.
6> Because he once painted raunchy nudes of Camilla, he now wants to be referred to as “the Prince Formerly Known as Artist.”
5> Caught humping the wax figure of Margaret Thatcher in Madame Tussaud’s.
4> One night, after too many glasses of port, he was caught carousing in Piccadilly and asking young women if they’d like to see “Buckingham Phallus.”
3> Had a romantic liaison with someone to which he was not in any way related.
2> He and his droogies indulged in a bit of the old “in/out” while wearing masky-waskies and listening to Ludwig Van.
1> In a secret ceremony, he knighted beefeaters Timothy and Christopher, then demoted himself to rear admiral.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]