The Top 14 Surprises in Monica Lewinsky's Testimony
By 14. Ken Starr’s original request was for Monica’s dress with the “sequin” on it.
13. Vince Foster actually killed by a jealous O. J.
12. Stain turns out to be McDonald’s “Secret Sauce.”
11. Still has the blue jumper she wore in kindergarten when Johnny threw his spaghetti at Suzy and missed.
10. Sometimes, even the president just likes to cuddle.
9. If you tickle Bubba in just the right place, he *does* inhale.
8. Linda Tripp confided that she hopes Ed Asner plays her in the movie.
7. Out of all the gifts he gave her, the gold-embossed “Get out of jail free” card from the Franklin Mint’s edition of Monopoly showed how thoughtful the President really is.
6. Breaks wind whenever she removes the beret.
5. Despite his centrist politics, Bill’s more of a “leftist,” if you get my drift.
4. Although not advertised, anyone tuned into www.MyFirstPresident.com saw the whole thing!
3. Clinton’s fondness for berets once led to an embarrassing incident with Saddam Hussein.
2. Surprise introduction of semen-stained window drapes, car hood and toaster cozy.
1. Turns out BILL was the one wearing the dress.
