The Top 14 Signs You're at a Bad Air Show
By 14. It’s running way behind schedule after 2 1/2 hours of blimp stunt flying.
13. While loop-de-looping over the audience, the “Amazing Olestra Wingwalker” leaves some accidental “vapor trails.”
12. Highlight of show is flyover by TelStar Model XC29-3 Communications Satellite .
11. The only Stealth Bomber is someone in the crowd who obviously had a burrito for lunch.
10. You’re watching the show from a ski-gondola in the Italian Alps.
9. “Blue Angels” run around the runway with their arms out in a line making motor noises with their lips.
8. Low-flying daredevil aerobatics accompanied by the lilting strains of “Rocky Mountain High.”
7. For the kids: free balloon rides with master balloonist Steve Fossett.
6. Hey! Is that a rope around Peter Pan’s waist?
5. Final score: Girl Scout Skeet Shooting Team 3, Blue Angels 0
4. “Fifi the Wing-Walking Poodle” has tell-tale nail holes in her feet.
3. Skywriting exhibition consists of the letter “I” and a lower case “l”.
2. “Stealth fighter” exhibit looks suspiciously like an empty field.
1. “Flying Tigers” show turns out to be 37 stray kittens and a catapult.
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]