When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that’s why there are no signs of...
one liners
A Father is a man with pictures in his wallet, where he used to keep his money when he was single.
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Q: Why is duct tape like "The Force"? A: Because it has a Light side and a Dark side and it holds the Universe together.
It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
What did Ellen Degeneres say to Kathy Lee? Can I be Frank with you? Submitted by Calamjo Edited by Curtis
Why did the condom fly across the room It got pissed off!
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to santa?
Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.