A guy walked into a pro shop with a gorilla. "Is anyone interested in a little wager?" he said, flashing some large bills around. "I've got $500 here that says my gorilla can hit the ball farther and straighter than anybody here at this club....
animals
My wife, Andrea, found out that our dog, a Schnauzer, could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's.
This couple has a dog that snored. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he could help. The vet tells the woman to tie.
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, me dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?” Father Patrick...
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next.
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well,.
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, "I'm going to become a lion tamer." The other replies, "That's crazy, you don't know nothing about no lion taming." "I can figure it out!" "Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you...
A farmer owned 25 young hens and one old cock . He felt that the old cock could no longer handle his task efficiently, the farmer decided to buy a young.
Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied a group of people playing too far from the shore. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark.
We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner & theatre that evening we turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet budgie and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local Taxi company and requested...