Star Wars Update Changes

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Top Ten Changes to the new Star Wars update

#10 Tie fighters replaced with black UN helicopters lead by Buotros Buotros Vader.

#9 Sand People replaced by Michigan Militia members (and still walk single file to hide their numbers).

#8 Kahn turns out to be Captain Kirk’s father (whoops, that’s from the Top Ten new Star Trek movie changes).

#7 Chewbacca now giggles when you tickle his tummy.

#6 If you look closely, storm troopers now have Microsoft employee badges.

#5 Original Jawas: Killed by Storm Troopers for having R2 and C3P0. New Jawas: Killed for pitching yet another lame JAVA product “concept”.

#4 Obi Wan’s name changed to OS/2 Kenobi. Uncle Owen now constantly says “I think he died X years ago” where X changes between 10 years before to 10 years in the future. Storm troopers now don’t kill Uncle Owen but instead appoint him head of the Imperial press.

#3 Amiga users upset because the new computers in the Death Star are PC’s when they could have been replaced with a single Amiga 1000 with 512K of ram and still run “tons faster and do real multitasking unlike those PEE-CEEs”

#2 The Canteen now has real rock stars in it. They look as they normally do but still manage to look more alien than the original aliens in there.

#1 Death Star’s old slogan: “Fear this battle station”
Death Star’s NEW slogan: “Where do you want to go today?”

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