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I’m not…
I’m not sure if I lost my camo pants or if they’re just doing a really good job.
Can’t see…
Can’t see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s an escape. I don’t even have a home anymore. Think it’s time for a new keyboard.
Identifying Bubba
Bubba died in a fire, and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Darryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Darryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Darryl said, “Yup, his face is burned up pretty badly. You better roll him over.”
The mortician rolled him over, and Darryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba.”
The mortician thought this was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, “Yup, he’s pretty well burned up. Roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over, and Gomer said, “No, it ain’t Bubba.”
The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”
Gomer said, “Well, Bubba had two a-holes.”
“What? He had two a-holes?” asked the mortician.
Yup, I’ve never seen ’em, but everyone knew he had two a-holes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, “Here comes Bubba with them two a-holes!”
People are…
People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow.
Bossy Parrot
A guy was doing some handyman work at a house. Across the room, there was a large gray parrot on a perch.
At one point, the family dog came into the room and jumped up on the couch. The parrot said, “Get off the couch!” and the dog jumped down immediately.
After a while, a small child came into the room with toys, and the parrot said, “Go back to your room!” The child picked up his toys and left without hesitation.
The guy turned to the parrot and said, “I’ve never seen anything like that before.”
The parrot looked at the guy and said, “Get back to work!”